Top 10 signs someone might be a fake dentist

I don't know how many of you follow me on Twitter or Facebook (if you don't, consider this your invitation), but there have been a lot of news stories out there lately about fake dentists being arrested. Maybe it's just coincidence or a sign of the economic times, but fake dentists are being busted left and right, it seems.

A friend of mine who has known me my entire life (literally ... her parents brought her to the hospital to see me when I was born) was inspired by some of my "fake dentist" news stories and came up with her top 10 signs someone might be a fake dentist.

Thank you, Katharine Grubb, for a laugh. Letterman will be jealous.

Top Ten Signs Your Dentist Might Be A Fake

10. Receptionist says, “Doctor, your parole officer is on line one.”

9. He got the words “Orthodontist” and “Orthopedic” mixed up.

8. You sit in the chair, lean back, open your mouth widely, and the she starts examining you shoes.

7. Every other moment, while poking around in your mouth, she says, “Ewwwww! This is so gross!”

6. While discussing your root canal, he gleefully mentions what kind of boat he’s going to buy.

5. She says, “You think the nitrous oxide is great, you should try the stuff I’ve got in my car.”

4. Instead of free toothbrushes, he gives away samples of taffy.

3. Assistant mentions that her last job was as an exotic dancer. And that’s how she met your dentist.

2. She refers to her instruments as Mr. Spiky and Mr. Pointy.

1. He says, “For every cavity I find, my mom gives me five bucks! Look, Jackpot!”